


Youth

by Hiddenflowerdesi



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: ;, Gen, I don't normally censor my works so if that bothers you..., I might add to this story later on, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, This story might be triggering for some readers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 00:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15255051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiddenflowerdesi/pseuds/Hiddenflowerdesi
Summary: Rating is for certain language and implied situations. This is a one shot ficlet for now, but I'll add more if y'all request me to add to this."Weak, weak, weak. That’s all he’d ever be. A sorry excuse of a keyblade wielder too weak to keep the man of his nightmares from knocking him unconscious and walking off with an injured Sora. Too weak to have prevented this bullshit from occuring in the first place.Vanitas was right about him."





	Youth

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story references self harm and may be a trigger for some readers!

_ “We’re catching fire to our insides for fun” _

...

He could barely see through the steam as he lowered his body into the tub, not stopping his descent until everything below his nose had been completely submerged. A barrage of bubbles traveled to the water’s surface, popping the second they hit the top as he exhaled deeply. He’d fucked up.  _ Badly _ .

He shook his head as tears misted his eyes, refusing to pity himself. The entire thing could’ve avoided if he hadn’t frozen when Xehanort had grabbed ahold of him. If he hadn’t trembled in fear as the man’s gloved fingers dug painfully into his jaw, feeling very much like he was about to break the bone beneath his now bruised skin. If only he had gotten his shit together instead of standing there like a goddamn  _ victim _ …

He ducked under the water entirely, his fingers forking through his hair as he screamed, the water muffling the horrid sound of his sobbing, massive bubbles of air exploding from his mouth. 

_ Weak, weak, weak.  _ That’s all he’d ever be. A sorry excuse of a keyblade wielder too weak to keep the man of his nightmares from knocking him unconscious and walking off with an injured Sora. Too weak to have prevented this bullshit from occuring in the first place. 

Vanitas was right about him.

As the bubbles from his outburst finally settled he heard the dull  _ thud _ of the bathroom door closing along with a muffled voice. Mere seconds later a blurry face peered down at him through the water. He glared at the form accusingly. These people had no sense of privacy, it seemed.

His fingers grazed the sides of the tub before he used them to pull himself up, closing his knees to hide at least  _ some _ of himself. “This is creepy. Get out.”

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you were trying to drown yourself. Those marks on your wrist doesn’t make that seem  _ too _ unlikely of a theory,” Even drawled as he stared down at him emotionlessly. “You haven’t done anything to fix that horrid bruising on you face, I see.”

Ventus glared at him once more as he closed his hand around his left wrist, hiding the scars the creep in the lab coat had no business knowing were even there to begin with. “I’ll have you know I _ tried _ , but they won’t go away. What do you care anyways?”

Even clicked his tongue as his gaze wandered around the room, avoiding lingering on Ventus for too long as if he was just then noticing how undecent the room’s other occupant had been. “Because that group of brats is bound to hold  _ us _ accountable for your injuries, however small they may be, and start a ruckus.  _ Again _ .” He chose that moment to make direct eye contact with Ventus. “They’re hard enough to work around  _ without _ them starting fights.”

It seemed that Even was really the only ex-apprentice who found the Restoration Committy’s presence in the castle to be insufferable. The others seemed slightly joyous to have someone new to talk to and Ienzo seemed pleased to have someone other than Even to bounce ideas off of. Lea claimed that he was simply jealous of all the attention the young man had been giving Cid as of late and that he’d get over it eventually. 

“Why are you even in here? You seriously couldn’t wait until I finished to start shit with me?” Ventus asked him accusingly. 

Even raised his eyebrows at that. “I’ve been looking for you for almost five hours and I honestly don’t recall you being so snarky before.” He crossed his arms as he faced the door. “The others are not only worried about you, but supposedly need for something important. So important, in fact, that they don’t want to so much as discuss it without you present. I wouldn’t advise you dilly dally any longer.”

With that, he left Ventus to himself, closing the door rather forcefully on his way out, causing the door frame to rattle.

Ventus sighed in agitation as he slid under the water once more, releasing his hold on his wrist. It was the wrist he wore his checkered bracelet on. The bracelet he always wore to cover self inflicted scars that he only recently remembered obtaining, as blurry as said memories may be. Similar scars also littered the rest of his body, some of them in obvious locations, most of them not. He’d recently starting adding to them again, unable to properly cope with the universe literally falling apart around him.

_ Weak, weak weak. Still so  _ **_fucking_ ** _ weak. _

__ He saw a man with long unruly silver hair. “ _ I’m sorry to say I don’t remember being the man you say I am. _ ”

A woman whose eyes had once been so warm. “ _ I couldn’t even protect  _ **_you_ ** . _ How do you expect me to help save the world, no, the entire damn  _ **_universe_ ** _?! _ ”

_ I could say the same to you. _

His eyes fluttered open under the water. Would it really make that much of a difference if he perished right then and there? Would anyone  _ truly _ care?

He pulled himself back out of the water before pulling the plug free, watching as a tiny tornado formed above the drain as it sucked the water into it. He chuckled humorlessly to himself as he pulled his knees his chest, his warm, damp skin sticking to itself. “Why the hell are they worried about  _ me _ ?” Roxas, he would have understood, he had been their friend. Kind of. He himself was nothing to them. He just some kid they’d talked to for less than a minute twelve years ago. Why did  _ they _ care if that incident had ripped open old wounds? They barely even knew him.

After what felt like ages, he finally stood, wrapping his towel around his waist as he rummaged through his bag for some clean clothes. He frowned as his fingers grazed something cool and metallic. It was his wayfinder, green and bright like the wind magic that had flowed through his body since he was a child. His lower lip began to tremble as he pulled it out and held it protectively against his chest.

If they ever managed to fight off the darkness that had laid claim to their hearts  _ they _ would surely care.  _ They  _ would surely weep over their lost friend, no, their lost  _ brother. _ The thought of doing that to  _ them  _ was too much. It made his chest ache.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry,” He wept as he clung to the charm as if his very life depended on it, and in a way it sort of did.

It wasn’t long before his knees gave out, causing him to slide unceremoniously onto the floor, leaning his head against the cabinet door that smelled heavily of the white paint that coated it. He let out a long wailing sob that he’d been holding in since he’d woken up from Xehanort’s assault earlier that day. A sob that he’d been withholding since he found out he’d taken Sora. A sob he’d been holding in since he realised he’d lost his two best friends in the entire damn universe, possibly for good.

He guessed the person that barged in and wrapped their arms around him had been lingering in the hall the entire time, waiting for something like this to happen. No, this person had known that  _ exactly  _ this was going to happen. The person said nothing. For someone who was good with words, they had absolutely no idea how to use them for comfort, but that was probably for the best. Ventus wouldn’t have been able to hear them over his own screaming anyways.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The beginning quote and story title come from the song Youth by Daughter. I really suggest listening tk it or at least reading the lyrics
> 
> Also, I'll leave it to your imaginations as to who was comforting him at the end


End file.
